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Monday, November 2, 2009

"Izzy" and your tax dollars at work

Hi, faithful blog readers, all five of you! :) I know, I know, it's been a dark month in the blogging world. Teaching is honestly kicking my pants to the curb daily, but I'm thankful to have a job and a paycheck, so I can't complain... (though I'd love to!)

The back story of today's post:


Our neighborhood is walking distance from the beach and all the coolest bars and restaurants one could ask for.

It's also walking distance from every type and color of cat you can muster. Yep, my roomies and I have cats. Way too many. Not our cats either. Just the fun feral ones that like to breed in our cul-de-sac and hide in our engines. The ones that like to dig up our garden and use it for a litter box.

So you can feel our bemusement when we received the following VERY specific flyer in our mailbox:

That's ALL the flyer said. We hung it on our refrigerator weeks ago, because, well, when you receive such xeroxed brilliance, it needs to be displayed. It just does.

Lately, our whole household has been pretty stressed. This usually leads to streams of drunk emails throughout our workdays.

My roommates are all very amazing and quite different in their career paths. We've got a doctor who works at the jail with the crazy women, a HR/marketer/everything else girl in the fashion industry for Carol Anderson, and a mechanical engineer who designs satellites. And then me, the bad version of Hillary Swank NOT inspiring teenagers. So to alleviate the panic that consumes us on some days, we email very profound intellectual letters.

Here is the thought-provoking transcripts of October 19th, 2009:
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On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 12:08 PM, M wrote:

hey..i ordered a agenda book/calendar, that shows it was delivered on friday, but i never saw it.

Did anyone see that by any chance, or know where it is? shipped ups from Office Depot.

thanks

Megan

__________________________________________________________

From: V

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: October 19, 2009 12:30:05 PM PDT

Don't remember a package, did you check your box?

__________________________________________________________

From: H

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 1:00 PM

I'll keep an eye out. There was something delivered -- I remember seeing something last week at our front door step, but that is all. I'll look in my crazy full box. Maybe somebody slipped it in there.

Love you all

H

__________________________________________________________

From: J

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 2:00 PM

I haven't seen it, but maybe one of the neighborhood cats stole it as punishment for trying to kick them...

__________________________________________________________

From: V

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 2:09 PM

Now that you mention the cats, I did see a cat making some appointments.

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From: M

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 2:12 PM

haha I just laughed out loud!!! Do you think the cats and kaleb work together?

Hey, H - Yeah, on sat. there was a package but that was something else.

I'll have to look when i get home.

Perhaps the cat got

__________________________________________________________

On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 2:13 PM, H wrote:

Oh, sweet Jesus, did the cat get you too?

__________________________________________________________

From: M

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 2:30 PM

the line was supposed to say:

"Perhaps the cat got sidetracked on the way to digging up our gardens"

__________________________________________________________

On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:09 PM, V wrote:

You think you are so funny and clever. Well the joke is on you, yeah I took your book. What are you going to do about it? Let me pull out my agenda book for sec, ah yes there it is. "October 17th--Stole an agenda book." That's right bitch, come and get it. BOOM

-Izzy

AKA La Killa

AKA Hello Kitty

__________________________________________________________

From: J

Subject: Re: agenda book

Date: Oct 19, 2009 3:20 PM

This could be a story for the National Enquirer!! Cat that steals mail and digs up gardens, spotted in quaint Hermosa Beach neighborhood. We could host "sighting" parties and sell tickets! It could be the next Big Foot!

__________________________________________________________

On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:39 PM, H wrote:

Sidenote, completely unrelated to cats:

Doing research for my novel, and J, you're prob. the best to ask on this.

What are the top clubs in L.A./Hollywood where celebrities go? Like the biggest celebrity hangouts?

__________________________________________________________

On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:48 PM, V wrote:

Heather, Let me pull out my agenda book.

Oct 20--Happy Hour at "The Kitty Korner"

Oct 21--Happy Hour at "Cat's Meow"

Oct 31 Halloween Extravaganza at "Cat's Cradle Bar and Spa"

Nov 11--Wet T-Shirt Contest at "Kitty Litter"

Nov 15--Clam back at "Fur Ball"

Hope that helps, sorry about my rude language earlier,

-Izzy

__________________________________________________________

On Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:54 PM, J wrote:

Well Izzy definitely has some hot spots covered...but.

The number one hot spot for celebrities is the bar at the Chateau

Marmont. Other than that, it's pretty much whatever the newest clubs

that have opened recently. A couple off the top of my head are MI6,

Winston's, Green Door, Area, Opera. If you need me to come up with

more or something more specific, I can. Okay, back to work...

1 comment:

  1. Good to see you back, sounds like you and room-mates have some fun! Good on you!

    ReplyDelete