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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Massage Gymnastics

I do apologize for the lack of pictures in this entry, but Meg and I just got back from a massage, and there are some areas where cameras don’t follow. As Meg and I got back in the car, we looked at each other and simultaneously said, “That was the weirdest massage!”

I said, “What was yours like?”

She said, “I think I had an ex-Cirque du Soleil acrobat.”

Apparently, Meg’s massage therapist was climbing all over Meg and straddling and stretching, doing strange maneuvers like push-ups on her back. She flew her hands spastically rather than smoothly across Meg. At one point, she repeatedly karate chopped Meg’s forehead. Meg was like, “Huh, I guess this feels good.”

My lady was fine, except that she tried to bore a hole through different areas of my body with her elbow. At one point, when she heard my hamstring was sore from soccer, she climbed on the table, and dug her knee into my hamstring, and balanced all her body weight on me entirely on her knee like an elephant balancing on a beach ball! I said, “Oh, that kind of hurts.”

She said, with an accent of course, because accents make everything funnier, “Yes. It ees tight.”

Then she dug deeper.

I held my breath. “It really hurts.”

She said, “Ah, yes, very tight, very tight.”

Finally I exploded through painful laughter, “No, really, get off.”

After a while it got a little chilly in the room, so she said, “I’ll get blanket.” She disappeared and didn’t come back for a whole three minutes of a cricket and recorder song.

When she returned, she said, “I am sorry. Blankets are being cleaned. Here.” Then she draped me with three more sheets. I felt kind of like a laundry basket.

At the end of the massage, she sat me up to massage my back! I couldn’t quite focus because I was too consumed with trying to keep the sheet from falling down.

Overall, it was definitely enjoyable, but even more enjoyable was watching Meg imitate her Cirque du Soleil performer dancing a spastic number across her back!

Anyone else have a ridiculous massage story? I'd love to hear!

1 comment:

  1. i don't think my story is really ridiculous, but i did wonder.. my lady didn't have an accent, so you win.