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Monday, July 13, 2009

Hello from Middle Of Nowhere, Africa! I have reception for the first time in three days, and It is impossible to sum up on a cell phone all that has transpired. I promise to take you through many fun africa blog adventures once I return to The States. But for now, I will hit some highlights just so you know I haven't been devoured by a cannibalistic tribe (we are near a tribe who doesn't kill people to eat, but will eat their dead. Weird).

Things I've learned about Africa:
  • It is ridiculously improper for a lady to cross her legs. It's like the equivalent of Britney Spears forgetting to wear underwear. Crossing ankles is okay.

  • Dresses? Yes. Skirts? Cover your knees. Pants? Very unattractive for girls. Shorts? Never! They made an exception when I played soccer with them. I think they were more mesmerized by a girl playing soccer than by my bare knees.

  • Don't pet dogs. They're wild.

  • Most African children scream when they see a caterpillar. Caterpillars are not cute. If you touch them, their quills will poison you and you will itch unbearably for thirty minutes to two hours.

  • If you want to say hi, just hold five fingers up. Do not wave the way Americans say Hi. Waving American style means, "Come here."

  • When Africans greet you, they will say, "You're welcome," even if you didn't say "Thank you." It is their greeting to say, "You're most welcome."

  • "Mzungu" (muh-zoon-goo) means "white person", often used when making fun of our American cluelessness.

  • Stay on the dirt paths. Snakes don't like the dirt because it scratches their bellies. The bush areas, particularly trees, are rampant with snakes. All are deadly.

  • Cobras are black. Green mambas are (you guessed it) the color of grass and they are skinny so they look like grass. Perfect.

  • Spiders jump. High. I discovered this when I tried to shoo one out of my room and it leapt up to my eye level.

  • When you go to a village store called the "Quicky Picky" (which is just a hut with a window) and they sell both bubble gum AND machetes, you MUST buy both. $1.50 for a machete? Talk about cheap entertainment. I sliced grass and leaves for at least an hour.

Favorite conversation yesterday:
Village child: Do you have a child?
Brooke: Nope.
Village child: Do you have a husband?
Brooke: Nope.
Village child: Good! Then you are a virgin! That is very good.

2 comments:

  1. i love how blunt and realistic you have made this whole experience. the thought of you shooing a jumping spider made me laugh out loud. i would have loved to see you slice grass. do you have first hand knowledge of the itchy caterpillar quills? i am sure there are other, more personal stories to tell and i cannot wait to hear them.

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  2. We need to have a slumber party so we can hear all the delicious stories you haven't had time to write. I've enjoyed your blog immensely!

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