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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

World on Wheels - Part 2

For those of you who didn't 'get the skinny' on yesterday's post, I was recapping Meg's 70's birthday party when we went 'bootin' last month. And for those of you that didn't make it to the party (or to the 70's growing up), here's a little slang that you and I missed, according to

That Was 'the Joint'. An event or activity that is outstanding, e.g. a movie, a party or even a song.

What It Is, What It Is - a greeting usually meaning,"Hey" or "What's up?"
Are You Jivin' Yet? - what someone says to his/her peers at school, meaning "I want to know when you'll stop talkin' so serious."
Audi 5000
(verb or noun) - to leave now; depart quickly. "I am Audi 5000" (Translation: I am outa here, I am leaving right now). "Let's Audi 5000". (Translation: Let's leave). Originated during the period when Audi 5000s were experiencing sudden and unexpected accelerations.

Awe Sooky Sooky
- Like "Aw yeah, baby..." or something looks really good, like "Shut up!"; so good that you can't believe it. (AKA Rob's outfit)

'feel Tha Funk' - Feel the music. get down wit da boogie.
(Like these two bitch'n booters)

I did have one ridiculous moment that night, as I promised to share today, and luckily I had my camera to snap the play-by-play. First, let me start by saying that I am notorious for losing my keys. And I don't mean, "Oh, where'd I leave my keys?" No, I mean losing as in Bermuda Triangle lost, and time to invest in a new set. The keymakers and AAA know me by name. Let's hit two of the highlights in my career:

Back during my youth pastor days, I was in a river with 15 high schoolers.
These are not the high schoolers. Nowadays I take students from my school. These are my adorable Gardena High School 'Hoodrats'.
But this just gives you the ambiance of the the best place in the world for white water rafting, camping, rock climbing, and river hiking. Rock N Water!

Years ago with my youth group, we were at Rock N Water hiking the river all day, jumping off of cliffs, diving under waterfalls. At the end of the day, our trip guide, Barrett, held out his hand. I slapped it, giving him 'five', and said, "Nice job, Captain."
He said, "You want me to drive?"
I said, "Sure."
He held out his hand again. "You want to give me the keys?"
I said, "Sure." I reached down to my board shorts, but only felt my bathing suit underneath.
He said, "Do you know where they are?"
"Yes!" I enthusiastically replied, glad I could give him something he wanted. Yes, I knew where they were. No, I didn't have them. He cocked an eyebrow, and I hesitated. "Uhh... you see what happened was..."

Apparently I missed the safety talk portion about putting all valuables in the waterproof backpack, and so I learned that day that board short velcro pockets are not the most reliable in keeping your keys from swimming.

Another time when I was about 21 and interning at a church, I took 15 teenagers bowling. As we were rounding up the troops for home, I did a quick bathroom run. To avoid putting my keys on the ground in the bathroom stall, I put the end of the keychain in my mouth (don't ask why that was the better option). At the time, I must have had 20 keychains and the same amount of keys, which I purposely did to avoid losing them. It was a janitor's stack, and apparently heavier than my mouth anticipated. I couldn't have timed the following events better: as I turned to flush, the keys dropped out of my mouth, and flew down the super flusher. My hand dove in after, but to no avail. I actually went charging to the pimply front desk shoe rental kid and asked him where the pipes went and if we could stop the water flow. It's amazing what panic can make you say. The great part was calling the parents and explaining why we were going to be late back to church. "Uhh... You see what happened was...."

Well, back to the present.

There I was in the roller rink bathroom stall innocently removing my belt only to hear an ominous "plop". I looked down and lo and behold:

"You've got to be kidding," I said out loud, and erupted in laughter. My locker key! The poor girl in the stall next to me didn't know my history of key misshaps and thus probably was a little freaked out when she heard me giggling uncontrollably followed by a series of flash photography. But seriously, how could you not record what I inevitably had to do? Yes, sir. Get ready! We're going in!

This is the look that says there is not enough hand sanitizer in the world for this.

Keep your cameras always in hand, folks. You never know when you, too, may need to take footage of that perfectly ridiculous moment that makes life what it is: crazy, unpredictable, good, bad, embarrassing, fun, and sometimes the opposite of fun, and sometimes downright horrific, but all rolled into something that comes out beautiful in retrospect. Go live!

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